To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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