I should be sponsored by Trojan
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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