but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
