i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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