never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
