hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
