That's intense
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
