Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
