Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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