Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Farmville is her only friend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
