It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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