She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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