i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
