i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
