I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
