she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
false alarm, still single
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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