I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
