when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
