When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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