He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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