alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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