he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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