i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize