Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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