I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
