I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
