Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
worst night to have a conscience
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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