just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
