SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
