sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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