Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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