He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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