ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
