That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
