wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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