Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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