Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
