Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
