If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
