it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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