should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
