i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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