You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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