He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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