They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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