Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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