Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
