We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
