i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
