That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
