eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
