I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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