I'm going to jail i love you
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sober January is a disaster.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
