She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your cock deserves a montage
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
