He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
