ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
