piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize