Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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