under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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