I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
