I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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