Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
