Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
